Peccavo (peccavo) wrote,

Less Maudlin

I'm generally feeling better tonight... Other than not being able to sleep. After careful consideration of how last week went, and how the weekend went, I decided to take a personal day Monday. Best thing for me really. I was able to go back to work Tuesday not feeling as down, and I actually got quite a bit done this week. Maybe not so much as I wanted, but I made good progress at work throughout the week. *but* given I don't post much on here any more, I should fill in some details.
The Saturday before last, I did my morning yoga intensive like I have been the last few weeks; the body part in focus was the torso generally, and the upper back specifically. That's the area I've been working on very intently for the last few months, and to say I had a break-through would be putting it kindly. Have you ever had the joints of your sternum pop? You know how the knuckles pop and you can get some nice pops out of the back? The sternum pops too... and while there was lots of pressure relieved, the feeling of soreness afterwards lingers. So, yes, after yoga Saturday before last, my sternum (and upper back) starting popping wildly, releasing 5-7 years worth of stress (around 7 years ago was the last time I got a good pop out of my sternum area), and it continued popping for over a week. This amazingly coincided with me having PTSD flashes, and feeling the intermittent need to cry. Good cries, though! Relief, not pain. I tell you, the money I paid for this yoga class has been the best money I've ever spent towards therapy! And last Friday, I watched "The Trip" (2003) and bawled like a baby -- I've seen the movie multiple times, but for whatever reason it just struck me this time in my, let's say, tender state.
But the following Saturday morning, instead of heading to the yoga intensive for the next installment in "therapy", I was managing my family. My brother had a seizure while staying with my father et al, fell badly, and had to go to the hospital for damage to his face. So, I was alternately on the phone with various relatives, on the internet researching, and coordinating communication for people who just don't communicate well! And of course, I was heightened emotionally, and largely livid! To be honest, this situation is unsustainable. My mother needs to start making changes to the structure of his care, because she's not doing anyone any favors, including herself. I need to intervene somehow.

My friend Chris's mother has a seizure disorder, and during the same time she had a bad stroke. She'll be moving to assisted living, and I'm considering what I can do to help him out. It's tough, to say the least. At the same time, he needs to be switching jobs, which can't be easy. So, uhm, yeah, he needs help.

Otherwise, I'm plenty busy between planning the wedding & reception, the wine, getting ready for the garden, and trying to further my erudition in various fields.

I like the new job, but I find it uncomfortable to be the most expert in my department in several regards, especially related to programming and computing. My boss has an edge on me just given his long experience, but he doesn't really communicate just what he knows. He's definitely expert in other regards, though, and I have a lot of respect for him.
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