Peccavo (peccavo) wrote,

Less than 2 weeks

It's less than 2 weeks to the wedding. Will and I bottled the Italian Cabernet Sauvignon from 2014. When we bought it, I jokingly called it "the wedding wine." Now it is. We have 13 gallon containers of red to take over, and I added in 12 750 ml bottles of California Chardonnay (which isn't nearly as good), but some people like white wine. I only need to get through one more week at work. Most of the details for the wedding have come together. Next weekend is our mutual bachelor parties / stag nights. Will and his friends will be at the house, and I'll be at a local hotel. Will doesn't know -- I've bought myself and my friends satyr horns, and I got myself a little Pan pendant with quite the erect phallus. Plus fun temporary tatoos that say "I'm with Pecky's bachelor party, if lost please buy me a drink." I'll also be wearing a red muscle T that reads, "Sometimes I wrestle with my demons, sometimes we cuddle." Seems appropriate. It should all be a fun night.
The bathroom isn't nearly done. Hopefully it will be before the wedding. This is getting stupid. Contractors really don't know what they're doing half the time! They can do the work, but someone has to be continually pointing them in the correct direction!

For myself, I've been dealing with a pain in my thoracic spine near my right shoulder blade. It seems like one of those knots that whenever someone pushes on it, emotions and memories flood out. The good news is, that I'm processing the thoughts and memories that come out.

I don't know if I mentioned it on here, but about a month or so ago "Sleeve" stopped talking to me. Which although disappointing, is just as well. I wanted to have a friend, but he was not very ... mature, let's say. Ultimately, I got what I needed out of my time with him. Which makes it sound like I was using him, and to a certain extent I was, but I was also putting myself out there for use. (that doesn't sound all that good now does it). For whatever reason, spending a little time with him, really helped me get over Clark. I'd been holding him in my heart all this time, even after all that's happened. He also helped me get over something deeper, unconsummated feelings I had for this guy Chris. But I had a really good boyfriend, and I felt like I really owed it to him to be a good boyfriend back. Over the years, I've liked a lot of guys. For whatever reason, this one either stuck, or I never fully digested. I took myself way too serious back then. I still do now, but now things feel more open ended -- there's no correct way to live life -- no goals that can really be achieved -- just whatever I can do -- and whatever bits of happiness I can get from life and help others get from life.
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